You Never Know.....

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"......

wow. That's pretty profound.

This weekend, one year ago, my sweet friend Jennifer and her family decided not to visit with us on their way from St. Louis to a sporting event (that I believe was in Florida). Instead, I went to Tupelo, MS to see my brother in the hospital. He had been so bad, but that weekend he was sooooo much better! He even spoke to me around the trach, something he had not been able to do since the initial surgery on July 27. What did he say?

"Roll Tide, Seester!" He was watching the Alabama game on TV. He asked that they not give him his pain meds so he could be more alert for the game. The nurses moved his bed so he faced the TV head-on for better viewing. His sweet wife, Jada, got to stay in the room with him for the entire game. That's a big deal when you are in the Critical Care Unit and the visits are limited to 20 minutes a few times per day. Jada, the Auburn grad, wore an Alabama shirt for the occasion. Brandon grinned from ear to ear.

I remember every detail. It was a great weekend. I had sent my parents home to rest and Jada and I held down the fort. We got to talk to Brandon. He was communicating so well. His strength was back. He was flirting and getting smooches from me and Jada. Our doctor said we might get to move into a room by "this time next week". It was a great weekend. And I am glad that I got to be there, thanks to my friends sensing the need for me to not be the hostess, but for me to go to the hospital instead. Yes, it was a great weekend and I'll cherish it forever........

because it was Brandon's last............."this time next week" never came....

He never saw another football game.........He never had another Saturday.......He never called me "seester" again......because, Thursday, September 4th was his last day on this earth..............

and now September 4th is coming right at me again......full force......

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have, Princess......you never know.....

and I for one, am over being strong............