Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Visit.....

Friday morning I get up and go to school. There were 17 little people there all wiggling with the EXCITEMENT.OF.CHRISTMAS.....and I was supposed to be teaching them something, but my mind was NOT on teaching anymore than their minds were on learning....It was Traditions Around the World Day and I had each of the 5 classes for a period of time. Each classroom is a different country and we teach about a tradition from that land and then rotate around.

"T" called in the middle of rotation 2 and told me it was not her gallbladder as but a severe kidney infection. IV antibiotics and a stay for the rest of the weekend at the hospital. Relief! Not only for me, but for "T" as well. I did not want her to have to have a major surgery right after being induced AND placing her baby for adoption...at Christmas. It all just seemed too much for one girl to have to bear...

On Saturday we loaded up the Little Prince, a big box of movies and a big bad of snacks and headed out to visit "T". The whole way there I kept trying to pretend that we were on a shopping trip or a vacation.....when really, the PANIC.was SETTING.IN.......

When we got there, Big and Little stayed in the car, cause Big said, "Girls don't like for anyone to see them when they've been in the hospital, especially people that they don't know!" So, I grabbed the bag of newly purchased magazines and headed out....like I knew what I was doing......and PANIC.SETS.IN.......the elevator ride was 1 floor. "Please Lord, don't let this be awkward......" I called her on the phone outside the nurses station...."Hey. I'm here. Do you mind if I come in to see you for a bit?"

Room 8, Labor and Delivery......

I walked in and hugged her. She is lovelier than in her pictures, even with a week long stay in the hospital. She keeps saying, "I cannot believe you drove all this way......" (it's about 4 hours). We had a great conversation. She was excited about the magazines....and she was going to get to go home late Saturday night or Sunday morning....oral antibiotics and rest until the baby comes. That's the protocol for now.

The chaplain comes in and introduces himself. "T" says, "This is the lady who is going to adopt the baby." Not my baby. Not my little girl. Just "the baby". In the adoption world, unattachment to the infant is good news to the ears of the adoptive parents. The chaplain turns to me and says, "Now, you teach school. What grade? Where in Alabama do you live?" Etc.....More good news. She's told him about me.

Before he leaves, he prays a lovely prayer for our girl. He asks for blessings for her two mothers. The one who will give her life and the one who will help her live a wonderful life. It was beautiful.

Big, Little and I drove home......and I for one felt a little more settled. I now have a place in my head when I think about where she will be born. It won't be new and unfamiliar when we go there again in a few short weeks. It was a good trial run.

I actually let my mother take tags off of some little pink bits of fluff. We washed the blankets and outfits. I packed the diaper bag and have it in the car. Today I got the car-seat out of storage. It will do until we get a new one. I picked out a crib online and researched bedding.....I am refusing to tell my family any names at all.....

I am cautiously excited.....and praying the the other shoe does not fall, Princess....praying that it does not fall........

Monday, December 28, 2009

Crazy Christmas

So on Thursday night, December 17, while I was bemoaning the fact that I had to go to school a full 2 days later than the rest of the free world (we got out on December 22nd at 3 pm, thank-you-very-much...)I got a text from "D", who told me that our birthmother "T" had been in the HOSPITAL since Tuesday and was very sick and would I please call her......uhhhhh, yeah........

(the reason that she had not let me know earlier is that Landon, "T's" 20 month old, had lost the cell phone with my numbers......) Just another reason that reinforces why I never let the Little Prince play with my car keys or my cell phone....

I call "T" and she sounds pitiful....and then she drops the bombshell.....they (the dr's) think it "might" be her gall bladder and if so, they will induce in a day or so and then remove her gallbladder after the baby delivers..... "T" says, "Pack a bag, your baby girl is coming soon....."

PANIC.SETS.IN.......

They are going to do an ultrasound later on that night (it was already 8 pm) and they should know by morning if they will deliver, most likely on Tuesday morning, December 22nd......as much as I want this baby out (I feel like the longer it takes the greater chance of "T" changing her mind.... 'cause remember, this is not my first rodeo...." I am in a whirl over the possibility that I will have to be away from the Little Prince on Christmas.....not that he would mind, what with all the million and five or so cousins he has to play with, along with the undivided attention he would get from Gran and Grandaddy.....but still.....

PANIC.SETS.IN.......

I start washing clothes and packing bags and PANIC.SETS.IN.......

My mother wants me to get int he car and GO! JUST GO! But I am being calm even though the PANIC.....it is SETTING.IN.......

The rest of the story coming soon.....I promise.....

Gotta go clean out some more stuff...cause the Princess is nesting, I tell you.....Nesting......

Monday, December 14, 2009

Tick Tock.....and a big commitment...

Well, a lot has happened since Thanksgiving weekend! Where to begin? The Sunday after Thanksgiving I was working quite contentedly in my first grade classroom (I know. I know. It was a Sunday. It's just what I do, OK?) :-) when the phone rang with the phone number showing the area code of where "T" lives. It was her! I was so excited. We talked for an hour and 40 minutes! It was a very easy conversation. I walked and talked and cleaned and basically did not have my feet touch the ground at.all. the entire time. Later that night, she called back and we talked for another 30 minutes. We've talked several times per week since then (and she's called me most of the time)!

The last time we talked she told me that she had been so happy since we'd found each other. She is excited about the opportunities we can offer the baby. It is easy to talk to her and we get a long well. We are trading information back and forth and learning about one another and each other's families.

Today, Libby, the atorney's assistant, told me that she had talked to "T" for a good while at the end of the week and she got a "good vibe" from "T". I trust Libby implicitly, as she was in the delivery room with us when the Little Prince was born. Libby has things in the works for all of the legal mumbo-jumbo....so it looks like we are moving forward. Whooo hooo!

I am decorating for Christmas, and each time I put something out I think,"The next time I get this out of the box.....she will be here and will be almost a year old....." I cannot wait to be the mommy of two.......

I am trying hard not to hypervenalate here.....but the excitement is almost overwhelming. I am really pushing it down and just trying to get through the next 6 days of school. Some genius decided that we should go to school until 3 pm on December 22nd......Santa Claus will be sliding down the chimney when we finally get out of school. So for now, school is my day time focus and wrapping and decorating (and cleaning) is my night time focus......One step at a time, Princess....one step at a time......

Today as I put the groceries away, I noticed the expiration date on the orange juice. I almost fainted when I realized that her due date is BEFORE the OJ expires. Considering that "T" has said she does not think she'll make it that far.....It really puts it all in perspective.....which is good I guess....cause today I bought the Baby Dreft for my High Efficiency washer.....if that's not a big committment Princess- I don't know what is!