Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Second best feels kind of like the first loser............

I've been promising my mother for a while that I would call Suzanne at our agency to ask how "everything" was going. I've also been putting it off for a while....I am not sure why really, except that I was afraid that no news was...no news....

Anyway, our agency is small and when I called today I was able to talk directly to Suzanne (who answered the phone). She said that we'd been on her mind a lot lately(Good thing) And that they have shown our book a lot! (This agency does not tell you when you are being shown, only when you are matched, but I can call every other month or so to check in). She said that it was one of the best books (they only work with 10 couples at a time) the agency had and everyone who saw it just loved it. I was all excited about these praises, and then, I was like, "Wait a minute! If you are showing it and everyone loves it....why have we not been picked?" Well.......it seems that we are every one's SECOND choice. She did say that she'd had two ladies who "agonized" over the choice for a weekend each, but who ultimately picked another couple. Why? Because the other couples do not have children yet and we have the Little Prince. AUUUUGGGHHHHHHHH! No matter that he just turned NINE years old and we will be starting over....brand spanking new on everything! I told her that as much as I want a new baby, I was not trading in the first one! ha! She told me to be patient and that she was confident that our baby was coming soon. In fact, she reminded me that she and her own sister are 10 years apart. I asked her to tell these ladies that story when they come in. She promised that she would. She is always so positive and I guess I would have rather heard this news than, "No, we have not shown your book in months......" but still...........

I am trying to remain positive, but second best feels like the first loser Princess....it really does........

Monday, October 12, 2009

Entrusted......

So today I was reading a blog post by Sophie (who had just attended the Beth Moore Conference in Memphis, TN)and she was talking about how God had ENTRUSTED her with certain challenges. What a new way to look at these challenges we've been given.... Instead of "Why me?"....what about....."Wow! I am ENTRUSTED with this task...."

As a teacher, I entrust tasks that need to be handled with care to a very certain few students. I know I can trust them to get to the office and back without losing all of the mail/announcements from my box....I know exactly who I can trust to take ALL of the lunch money to the office that is in the WAY BACK of the cafeteria....I know who I can trust.....

What if God is looking at us as his little classroom helpers in this big ol' world? That just changes everything! He believed in ME enough to trust that I would leave Memphis and move to Alabama, and humble myself and give it all to Him.....when I did, he ENTRUSTED me to become The Little Prince's mommy. He knew that I was the only one with whom he could ENTRUST the care and well being of that little miracle.

And my sweet friend, Jennifer......God ENTRUSTED her to travel half-way around the globe, many many times over.....to become the mommy to four precious Russian blessings.....He ENTRUSTED her to adopt again domestically....a child with "special medical needs" because He ENTRUSTED that she and Pat could get the medical attention that our sweet girl needed. He is ENTRUSTING them again as Jennifer nurtures twins in her very own womb.....twins, not of her own flesh, but of a long time of prayer from her heart.

He is ENTRUSTING me with infertility, not to condem me or to give me shame or hurt, but because He knows that I will move forward and adopt a child who needs me. He trusts that I will wait until His perfect timing is evident.....

That's pretty powerful. Not everyone can be ENTRUSTED with infertility. I know. I have seen and I have heard. Some lose faith. Some decide to live childless. Some turn away.....and then, there are some who move forward.......

It sort of takes on a whole new meaning, there doesn't it, infertile friends? We are ENTRUSTED to bear this burden..... To carry this task until completion.....we are ENTRUSTED to be still and know......

And if there is one thing I know for sure.....It's that you won't ever be ENTRUSTED with something that God thinks you might not be able to handle......

Standing a little taller Princess.....standing a little taller.......