Monday, January 18, 2010 pink!

I've been horrible at updating the blog. All is well here in limbo-land. We are officially in the 2 week wait......There are new paperwork packets and fees and notarized papers and re-do stuff everyday, but I just breathe through it and pretend that when today’s is finished that there won’t be more tomorrow! I’m very Scarlett that way…..and if I think of it in small steps, I don't get as overwhelmed.

Anyway, "T" is due on Jan 31 and if she does not go before then, the Dr. has indicated that he will induce the week of the 25th. We do not know what day. It’s hard to believe that it will actually happen (given all of the other false starts, missed opportunities and negative tests…), though she’s given me no indication that it won’t, and she has no one in her life to help her or to tell her that she’s doing the wrong thing by placing the baby for adoption…..soooooooo....

I am cautiously optimistic. It seems that ICPC (the interstate compact people) have agreed to waive "T's" home state law since the adoption will be finalized in our state. That is a whooo hooo for us since it means that our stay in "T's" state will be significantly shorter. If the hospital has rooms available we should be able to room-in with the baby. That pleases me since "T" does not want to see her. I don't want the little bit to be left in the nursery "all alone" when we have to leave to sleep.

She still has no name…..My Daddy calls her Tinkerbell and my friend Carol calls her cupcake……we just call her “the baby we MIGHT get”….Although since our lawyer's assistant is Libby and our social worker here is Lucy and the hospital social worker there is Laura and then the discharge agency lady is'd think that an "L" name would be in the forecast!

I don’t know what my life will look like when I know our family is complete. For the last decade +, I have always had in the back (or front) of my mind…..”when will it happen? How will it happen? What insane procedure do I need to endure to get pregnant? Is that teenager going to keep that baby? Where is my baby coming from?”

I’m probably the only person who cheers when I read that the teen birth rate is going up…..sad, I know……It will be a relief to say, at ages 41 and 42 (today for The Big Prince) that it is OVER and we are DONE……Since April of 1997 we have either been pregnant, trying to get pregnant (on our own or with extreme medical intervention), or talking with someone about their person who is pregnant and does not know what to do…..It makes me tired to think about it, but I’d start all over tomorrow if I needed to, I’d just have to have a big cry and a half bottle of Vodka first…..

It’s going to be kind of nice…..except, I will need a new obsession…… Luckily, I have to renew my national Board Certification next year, so there’s that. It should be an experience with an almost 10 year old and a 9 month old……maybe I’ll go back to school…..and further traumatize The Big Prince…….. ha!

Maybe I'll be able to put away the what if's........and just enjoy......

After all, it will be the last time Princess......the very last time.....


  1. SO EXCITED for you :) Can't wait til she is in your arms :)


  2. so glad to hear that all seems to be going well! I will keep checking your blog for updates!

    Michelle Miscichowski

  3. I can't wait until the Little Princess is safe in your arms. I vote for enjoying this and hanging out with my Little Princesses on the Sugar White Beaches as much as possible next year-