Well, a lot has happened since Thanksgiving weekend! Where to begin? The Sunday after Thanksgiving I was working quite contentedly in my first grade classroom (I know. I know. It was a Sunday. It's just what I do, OK?) :-) when the phone rang with the phone number showing the area code of where "T" lives. It was her! I was so excited. We talked for an hour and 40 minutes! It was a very easy conversation. I walked and talked and cleaned and basically did not have my feet touch the ground at.all. the entire time. Later that night, she called back and we talked for another 30 minutes. We've talked several times per week since then (and she's called me most of the time)!
The last time we talked she told me that she had been so happy since we'd found each other. She is excited about the opportunities we can offer the baby. It is easy to talk to her and we get a long well. We are trading information back and forth and learning about one another and each other's families.
Today, Libby, the atorney's assistant, told me that she had talked to "T" for a good while at the end of the week and she got a "good vibe" from "T". I trust Libby implicitly, as she was in the delivery room with us when the Little Prince was born. Libby has things in the works for all of the legal mumbo-jumbo....so it looks like we are moving forward. Whooo hooo!
I am decorating for Christmas, and each time I put something out I think,"The next time I get this out of the box.....she will be here and will be almost a year old....." I cannot wait to be the mommy of two.......
I am trying hard not to hypervenalate here.....but the excitement is almost overwhelming. I am really pushing it down and just trying to get through the next 6 days of school. Some genius decided that we should go to school until 3 pm on December 22nd......Santa Claus will be sliding down the chimney when we finally get out of school. So for now, school is my day time focus and wrapping and decorating (and cleaning) is my night time focus......One step at a time, Princess....one step at a time......
Today as I put the groceries away, I noticed the expiration date on the orange juice. I almost fainted when I realized that her due date is BEFORE the OJ expires. Considering that "T" has said she does not think she'll make it that far.....It really puts it all in perspective.....which is good I guess....cause today I bought the Baby Dreft for my High Efficiency washer.....if that's not a big committment Princess- I don't know what is!
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Monday, December 14, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Undone.............
Today by a small miracle, I heard/felt my phone buzzing in my teacher bag at 3:00. No small feat, given the school that I work in has metal support studs and a metal roof. I am lucky if I can get a signal standing right outside the building....
Anyway, my Aunt Joy was on the line......"Do you still want a baby?" she says to me when I answer....."Always" was my immediate reply.
Deana (her daughter, my cousin) has a friend whose daughter is pregnant, in labor and does not want to raise the baby. She's already had one that her mother is raising....."Give me Deana's phone number!" I cut Aunt Joy off in mid sentence....
Grab a post it pad and pen and out the door to the sidewalk I go. Call Deana. Get the scoop.
"T" is not due til the end of December. The baby is a GIRL. Having contractions. 1 cm dilated, wants to make an adoption plan. Has no idea how to do so.
Give Deana all the details to relay to "T" and her mother who is raising the first-born. "T's" mom is all in on the adoption plan....Deana relays information and passes the phone number of "D" ("T's" mother and the new baby's grandmother) Grandmother "D" asks that I wait til she gets to the hospital and finds out what is what before I call. She does really want to talk to me.....
It is now 8:30 pm. Have texted Deana back and forth. She's texted grandma "D" and has not heard back. We do not know if the baby is coming or if they have stopped labor. The pregnancy calendar says that she should be about 33 weeks and that the lungs "should be" developed..... I cannot bear to call and interrupt and cannot bear to wait for the all clear to call.....
I am coming undone.....
Last night (ahemm. this morning) I only slept from 2:30 am-5:45 am. I wondered why. Now I know. Quite possibly I was in labor. :-) Damn adoptions. That's the thing.....you don't get 9 months. Sometimes you just get a heartbeat, a moment in time, a phone call away and then you are on the slippery slope to what if...........
Could this be it? Could it be? I am coming undone.......
But for now, this Princess with grit in her eyes from lack of sleep is taking the post it note pad, the pen and the phone, and is doing what any woman in waiting does.....she's going to bed.....(but not before she's charged the camera, gotten the moses basket and the few little girl clothes and blankets ready to grab at a moments notice, remembered where the infant car seat is stored, and mentally arranged her packing list, googled the city where "T" lives (one state away), all the while saying lots of prayers.....
No matter how this one turns out...........there's a baby coming......and she needs our prayers.........
Cause the story of where she'll be raised has already been written Princess.....it's already been written.....
Anyway, my Aunt Joy was on the line......"Do you still want a baby?" she says to me when I answer....."Always" was my immediate reply.
Deana (her daughter, my cousin) has a friend whose daughter is pregnant, in labor and does not want to raise the baby. She's already had one that her mother is raising....."Give me Deana's phone number!" I cut Aunt Joy off in mid sentence....
Grab a post it pad and pen and out the door to the sidewalk I go. Call Deana. Get the scoop.
"T" is not due til the end of December. The baby is a GIRL. Having contractions. 1 cm dilated, wants to make an adoption plan. Has no idea how to do so.
Give Deana all the details to relay to "T" and her mother who is raising the first-born. "T's" mom is all in on the adoption plan....Deana relays information and passes the phone number of "D" ("T's" mother and the new baby's grandmother) Grandmother "D" asks that I wait til she gets to the hospital and finds out what is what before I call. She does really want to talk to me.....
It is now 8:30 pm. Have texted Deana back and forth. She's texted grandma "D" and has not heard back. We do not know if the baby is coming or if they have stopped labor. The pregnancy calendar says that she should be about 33 weeks and that the lungs "should be" developed..... I cannot bear to call and interrupt and cannot bear to wait for the all clear to call.....
I am coming undone.....
Last night (ahemm. this morning) I only slept from 2:30 am-5:45 am. I wondered why. Now I know. Quite possibly I was in labor. :-) Damn adoptions. That's the thing.....you don't get 9 months. Sometimes you just get a heartbeat, a moment in time, a phone call away and then you are on the slippery slope to what if...........
Could this be it? Could it be? I am coming undone.......
But for now, this Princess with grit in her eyes from lack of sleep is taking the post it note pad, the pen and the phone, and is doing what any woman in waiting does.....she's going to bed.....(but not before she's charged the camera, gotten the moses basket and the few little girl clothes and blankets ready to grab at a moments notice, remembered where the infant car seat is stored, and mentally arranged her packing list, googled the city where "T" lives (one state away), all the while saying lots of prayers.....
No matter how this one turns out...........there's a baby coming......and she needs our prayers.........
Cause the story of where she'll be raised has already been written Princess.....it's already been written.....
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Second best feels kind of like the first loser............
I've been promising my mother for a while that I would call Suzanne at our agency to ask how "everything" was going. I've also been putting it off for a while....I am not sure why really, except that I was afraid that no news was...no news....
Anyway, our agency is small and when I called today I was able to talk directly to Suzanne (who answered the phone). She said that we'd been on her mind a lot lately(Good thing) And that they have shown our book a lot! (This agency does not tell you when you are being shown, only when you are matched, but I can call every other month or so to check in). She said that it was one of the best books (they only work with 10 couples at a time) the agency had and everyone who saw it just loved it. I was all excited about these praises, and then, I was like, "Wait a minute! If you are showing it and everyone loves it....why have we not been picked?" Well.......it seems that we are every one's SECOND choice. She did say that she'd had two ladies who "agonized" over the choice for a weekend each, but who ultimately picked another couple. Why? Because the other couples do not have children yet and we have the Little Prince. AUUUUGGGHHHHHHHH! No matter that he just turned NINE years old and we will be starting over....brand spanking new on everything! I told her that as much as I want a new baby, I was not trading in the first one! ha! She told me to be patient and that she was confident that our baby was coming soon. In fact, she reminded me that she and her own sister are 10 years apart. I asked her to tell these ladies that story when they come in. She promised that she would. She is always so positive and I guess I would have rather heard this news than, "No, we have not shown your book in months......" but still...........
I am trying to remain positive, but second best feels like the first loser Princess....it really does........
Anyway, our agency is small and when I called today I was able to talk directly to Suzanne (who answered the phone). She said that we'd been on her mind a lot lately(Good thing) And that they have shown our book a lot! (This agency does not tell you when you are being shown, only when you are matched, but I can call every other month or so to check in). She said that it was one of the best books (they only work with 10 couples at a time) the agency had and everyone who saw it just loved it. I was all excited about these praises, and then, I was like, "Wait a minute! If you are showing it and everyone loves it....why have we not been picked?" Well.......it seems that we are every one's SECOND choice. She did say that she'd had two ladies who "agonized" over the choice for a weekend each, but who ultimately picked another couple. Why? Because the other couples do not have children yet and we have the Little Prince. AUUUUGGGHHHHHHHH! No matter that he just turned NINE years old and we will be starting over....brand spanking new on everything! I told her that as much as I want a new baby, I was not trading in the first one! ha! She told me to be patient and that she was confident that our baby was coming soon. In fact, she reminded me that she and her own sister are 10 years apart. I asked her to tell these ladies that story when they come in. She promised that she would. She is always so positive and I guess I would have rather heard this news than, "No, we have not shown your book in months......" but still...........
I am trying to remain positive, but second best feels like the first loser Princess....it really does........
Friday, May 1, 2009
49 Days.....
Everyone has been asking me, "How's the adoption going?" which in and of itself is still kind of shocking....(I keep waiting for Brad to put the brakes on the whole show) and I have been quick to say that "Suzanne at the agency is worrying about it for me and that until I get THE CALL, I don't really have to worry about it." I don't mean that in a flippant way, I just mean that finally, someone other than me is dealing with the who, what, when, where, why and how of it all...... And that, until Suzanne calls, I just go on about my life with the Big Prince and the Little Prince and all of the school children, and making it 18 more school days until I am out for summer and can breathe......etc......
This week, my school offered to send me to a conference in July for National Board Certified Teachers, to the tune of 1500.00 (for free). I love love love going to teacher conferences. Especially on someone else's dime. Not sure if you are aware or not, but Alabama is currently under pro-ration, which means there is no money for anything. My super assistant principal (also a NBCT) even offered to fill out a good portion of the mountainous paperwork involved in procuring the funding. All I needed to do was give it the ol' John Hancock and we'd be out the door. The only problem was, everytime I thought about going, I got a little ill. Just sort of a dread and heavy feeling coming over me. I put it off to being tired and ready for school to be out. I tried to rationalize that no one looks a gift horse in the mouth. I tried to psych myself up. Then finally I realized that if I was dreading it this much, then something was telling me NOT to go.
So I told Mr. Assistant Principal that I was a no-go on the conference. Then, just this afternoon when I was on the phone to my "Yankee Friend" http://www.jensadoptionblessings.blogspot.com/
and fellow kindergarten teacher/infertility agonizer/adoption soul mate Jennifer telling her this whole ordeal, all the while saying, "I don't know if you'll be proud of me or mad at me...." (Jennifer loves a good deal and someone forking out 1500.00 bucks for me to go to a conference is right up her ally..) Guess what happened?.......Literally right in the middle of me saying that something was telling me NOT to go and Jennifer asking me if I thought it was a sign..........
THE CALL CAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
49 days after "officially waiting" Suzanne called us to say that she'd be showing our book on Monday to a girl who is due in JUNE! A pregnant-girl with great health, with a supportive family and boyfriend, a college age, non-smoking, non-drinking, non-illegal drug using gonna have a baby in JUNE pregnant-girl......
Ready for more good news.....
When we filled out our adoption profile, one of the "choices" we checked was Asian/Caucasian (everyone knows of my not so secret desire to run straight to China to get a little girl. Or two. Or more). Suzanne point-blank said, "That NEVER happens...in Alabama." Oh. OK. Guess she knows, what with this being her business and all.....
Get this.........this girl with great health, with a supportive family and boyfriend, a college age, non-smoking, non-drinking, non-illegal drug using gonna have a baby in JUNE pregnant-girl......is 1/2 Asian, 1/2 Caucasian. The birth father is Caucasian. This baby (did I mention that he/she is due in JUNE???) will be 1/4 Asian. It may not be like going to China......but it might just be the closest you can get without leaving the state of Alabama! I already have a lot of information but in the interest of privacy cannot share it here. It is all extremely encouraging.....
So, Miss S will be shown our book and the book of another couple. It's a 50/50 shot. I should know something by Monday afternoon. Oh, and the baby....the one that is due in JUNE......we're not sure yet if it's a boy or a girl.......but it is due in JUNE! (Did I mention that today is MAY 1st????) :-) 49 days ago we were "officially waiting".....on day 53, we might really know something! And in less than 60 more days (if she's due the last day in JUNE) we might just have a new baby! Amazing how God works when you just sit back and wait. And trust. And pray. Every morning and middle of the night when I wake up from a dead sleep and wonder why?? I pray. Please bless our birthmother and the baby she carries, Lord. Even though we don't know her yet, Lord. You do. Bless her and giver her strength and comfort.
I just can't help but to see that tiny little girl with Asian features who has dominated my dreams all these years....who would have imagined that the thin red thread connecting us would not be measured in thousands of miles, but in less than two-hundred instead?
Oh! And to top that off, I got some more astounding news today that was a just a delight to my soul.....but THAT is a whole 'nother post! It does involve babies, and it is so BIG and so generous and so astounding that I might not be able to share it for a while. But I'll say this. Families come together in all kinds of ways, and you never know when you'll be entertaining angels, unaware. Oh, and also that a whole new group of words for related persons not living together might need to be coined......
Praying for grace and guidance Princess....grace and guidance......(and still not able to stop praying for pink)
This week, my school offered to send me to a conference in July for National Board Certified Teachers, to the tune of 1500.00 (for free). I love love love going to teacher conferences. Especially on someone else's dime. Not sure if you are aware or not, but Alabama is currently under pro-ration, which means there is no money for anything. My super assistant principal (also a NBCT) even offered to fill out a good portion of the mountainous paperwork involved in procuring the funding. All I needed to do was give it the ol' John Hancock and we'd be out the door. The only problem was, everytime I thought about going, I got a little ill. Just sort of a dread and heavy feeling coming over me. I put it off to being tired and ready for school to be out. I tried to rationalize that no one looks a gift horse in the mouth. I tried to psych myself up. Then finally I realized that if I was dreading it this much, then something was telling me NOT to go.
So I told Mr. Assistant Principal that I was a no-go on the conference. Then, just this afternoon when I was on the phone to my "Yankee Friend" http://www.jensadoptionblessings.blogspot.com/
and fellow kindergarten teacher/infertility agonizer/adoption soul mate Jennifer telling her this whole ordeal, all the while saying, "I don't know if you'll be proud of me or mad at me...." (Jennifer loves a good deal and someone forking out 1500.00 bucks for me to go to a conference is right up her ally..) Guess what happened?.......Literally right in the middle of me saying that something was telling me NOT to go and Jennifer asking me if I thought it was a sign..........
THE CALL CAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
49 days after "officially waiting" Suzanne called us to say that she'd be showing our book on Monday to a girl who is due in JUNE! A pregnant-girl with great health, with a supportive family and boyfriend, a college age, non-smoking, non-drinking, non-illegal drug using gonna have a baby in JUNE pregnant-girl......
Ready for more good news.....
When we filled out our adoption profile, one of the "choices" we checked was Asian/Caucasian (everyone knows of my not so secret desire to run straight to China to get a little girl. Or two. Or more). Suzanne point-blank said, "That NEVER happens...in Alabama." Oh. OK. Guess she knows, what with this being her business and all.....
Get this.........this girl with great health, with a supportive family and boyfriend, a college age, non-smoking, non-drinking, non-illegal drug using gonna have a baby in JUNE pregnant-girl......is 1/2 Asian, 1/2 Caucasian. The birth father is Caucasian. This baby (did I mention that he/she is due in JUNE???) will be 1/4 Asian. It may not be like going to China......but it might just be the closest you can get without leaving the state of Alabama! I already have a lot of information but in the interest of privacy cannot share it here. It is all extremely encouraging.....
So, Miss S will be shown our book and the book of another couple. It's a 50/50 shot. I should know something by Monday afternoon. Oh, and the baby....the one that is due in JUNE......we're not sure yet if it's a boy or a girl.......but it is due in JUNE! (Did I mention that today is MAY 1st????) :-) 49 days ago we were "officially waiting".....on day 53, we might really know something! And in less than 60 more days (if she's due the last day in JUNE) we might just have a new baby! Amazing how God works when you just sit back and wait. And trust. And pray. Every morning and middle of the night when I wake up from a dead sleep and wonder why?? I pray. Please bless our birthmother and the baby she carries, Lord. Even though we don't know her yet, Lord. You do. Bless her and giver her strength and comfort.
I just can't help but to see that tiny little girl with Asian features who has dominated my dreams all these years....who would have imagined that the thin red thread connecting us would not be measured in thousands of miles, but in less than two-hundred instead?
Oh! And to top that off, I got some more astounding news today that was a just a delight to my soul.....but THAT is a whole 'nother post! It does involve babies, and it is so BIG and so generous and so astounding that I might not be able to share it for a while. But I'll say this. Families come together in all kinds of ways, and you never know when you'll be entertaining angels, unaware. Oh, and also that a whole new group of words for related persons not living together might need to be coined......
Praying for grace and guidance Princess....grace and guidance......(and still not able to stop praying for pink)
Friday, March 13, 2009
It's official!
As of today at 12:00 noon central time, we are officially "expecting to adopt"! :-) All of our things were turned in with the agency. The exit interview was an answered prayer....relatively painless. The Big Prince and I enjoyed some couple time afterward at a favorite restaurant and now I am blogging away in the rain, waiting to pick the Little Prince up in carpool at school.
I am so at ease about this . I feel just the way I did when we were adopting Grayson and the world around me was in turmoil. My BFF Carol was sick with nerves the whole time. Not me! I was safe and secure. I feel the exact same way. This is going to be smooth. Now, I am saying all of this and we have not even been shown to a birthmother yet.....but, the agency has already completed 9 adoptions in 2009 with four more expected by the end of March. These are all newborns. Those are pretty good odds.
We left our application open to either boy or girl. Some things just need to be decided by God. (of course my mother is fervently praying over the 4 bags of pink in the top of my brother's closet.... but that's another story!) I am excited and relieved. Just think.....somewhere out there my baby is riding around in a birthmother's tummy. She's wondering what she's gonna do. Our album is there waiting and when she sees it, she will know. I wonder who this precious soul will be?
Life is good right now. New beginnings are always exciting to me.....
Brad asked on the way home if I've thought of names yet.....how's that for ready?
Better find the baby name book, Princess.....better find the book......
I am so at ease about this . I feel just the way I did when we were adopting Grayson and the world around me was in turmoil. My BFF Carol was sick with nerves the whole time. Not me! I was safe and secure. I feel the exact same way. This is going to be smooth. Now, I am saying all of this and we have not even been shown to a birthmother yet.....but, the agency has already completed 9 adoptions in 2009 with four more expected by the end of March. These are all newborns. Those are pretty good odds.
We left our application open to either boy or girl. Some things just need to be decided by God. (of course my mother is fervently praying over the 4 bags of pink in the top of my brother's closet.... but that's another story!) I am excited and relieved. Just think.....somewhere out there my baby is riding around in a birthmother's tummy. She's wondering what she's gonna do. Our album is there waiting and when she sees it, she will know. I wonder who this precious soul will be?
Life is good right now. New beginnings are always exciting to me.....
Brad asked on the way home if I've thought of names yet.....how's that for ready?
Better find the baby name book, Princess.....better find the book......
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Getting Excited!
I got the word today that the paperwork is approved. Done. Accepted.
Now I can call to set up the final intake meeting with the agency and turn in the scrapbook. I cannot believe we are finally at this point!
I get all lightheaded just thinking about it. We have come so close so many other times, only to end up disappointed. I do have a good feeling about this though. Maybe it is the difference in using an agency and doing an independent adoption (which is what we did with the little prince). His was picture perfect. 9 months of waiting and boom! There he was, just as if I had carried him myself. Our other situations were not so smooth (or clearly we would have another baby already) But this time.....I can almost feel a baby in my arms right now. (Someone will have to remind me of that in 3 months when I say...."What's taking soooo long!")
I am going on a scrapbooking weekend on Friday with my bestest Mississippi girlfriend, Shannon. I cannot wait! We will stay in our pj's all weekend and work on our family albums. I will be finishing the "Dear Birthmother" album to leave with the agency. So much to do!
Everything will need to be just right for the book. It is the only glimpse into our lives that the birthmother will get. First impressions are important!
Better start scrapbooking Princess.....better start scrapbooking.....
Now I can call to set up the final intake meeting with the agency and turn in the scrapbook. I cannot believe we are finally at this point!
I get all lightheaded just thinking about it. We have come so close so many other times, only to end up disappointed. I do have a good feeling about this though. Maybe it is the difference in using an agency and doing an independent adoption (which is what we did with the little prince). His was picture perfect. 9 months of waiting and boom! There he was, just as if I had carried him myself. Our other situations were not so smooth (or clearly we would have another baby already) But this time.....I can almost feel a baby in my arms right now. (Someone will have to remind me of that in 3 months when I say...."What's taking soooo long!")
I am going on a scrapbooking weekend on Friday with my bestest Mississippi girlfriend, Shannon. I cannot wait! We will stay in our pj's all weekend and work on our family albums. I will be finishing the "Dear Birthmother" album to leave with the agency. So much to do!
Everything will need to be just right for the book. It is the only glimpse into our lives that the birthmother will get. First impressions are important!
Better start scrapbooking Princess.....better start scrapbooking.....
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Delving into the world of the blog...
I have a blog for my first grade classroom, and really love using it. I have recently become increasingly interested in making one for my personal life. I am not sure who would read it (the classroom parents sort-of-have-to read the classroom blog if they want to know what's going on.....)
However, I do have a few friends who suggested that blogging would be a great way to keep everyone informed of our impending adoption. Since our awesome social worker, Lucy, has officially turned in all of our paperwork to the agency TODAY....I decided to celebrate by learning how to blog our real life.....
Oh, and I may or may not have also celebrated the completion of said paperwork by buying the most adorable pink and cocoa toile baby outfit with matching blanket and hat today while I was shopping sans hubby and the little prince. I know we told the agency "pink or blue" but I am leaning waaaaaayyyyyy toward the pink today. Plus, my mother already has 94,567 so cute little outfits (sealed in shopping bags with the tags still on) all in pink from the "almost adoption of Ava" 3 years ago. I was really OK with the pink OR blue scenario until I saw all of that sweet soft pinky goodness........and anyway, I already have absolute perfection of the blue variety.......haven't you seen the little prince? I mean, what could top beautiful skin that tans so nicely and blonde hair that whitens in the sun, paired with chocolate-pie eyes and dimples 4 miles deep......
Go ahead, see for yourself.......
Don't you think a mommy needs a little pink to balance it all out?
Better start prayin' Princess. Better start prayin'.....
However, I do have a few friends who suggested that blogging would be a great way to keep everyone informed of our impending adoption. Since our awesome social worker, Lucy, has officially turned in all of our paperwork to the agency TODAY....I decided to celebrate by learning how to blog our real life.....
Oh, and I may or may not have also celebrated the completion of said paperwork by buying the most adorable pink and cocoa toile baby outfit with matching blanket and hat today while I was shopping sans hubby and the little prince. I know we told the agency "pink or blue" but I am leaning waaaaaayyyyyy toward the pink today. Plus, my mother already has 94,567 so cute little outfits (sealed in shopping bags with the tags still on) all in pink from the "almost adoption of Ava" 3 years ago. I was really OK with the pink OR blue scenario until I saw all of that sweet soft pinky goodness........and anyway, I already have absolute perfection of the blue variety.......haven't you seen the little prince? I mean, what could top beautiful skin that tans so nicely and blonde hair that whitens in the sun, paired with chocolate-pie eyes and dimples 4 miles deep......
Go ahead, see for yourself.......
Don't you think a mommy needs a little pink to balance it all out?
Better start prayin' Princess. Better start prayin'.....
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