When She Sighs.........

and puts her head on my shoulder......

and snuggles in.......

eyes closed.......

pacifier pacificing......

and tangles her hands in my hair.....

I......

close my eyes.....

and the tears run down my cheeks.......

I stop. Right then.

and say "Thank you".......

to God........

for bringing her to me.

My people.......

In the past few weeks I have been reminded of how very lucky I am. One of the blessings of facebook is that I can reconnect with friends and even long lost family members. I have reunited with people that were friends of my brother, and I can instantly get updates and send messages to friends who need a word of comfort or of cheer.

I have two sorority sisters who have loved ones in grave medical situations right now and I just wish that I would have had facebook while Brandon was in the hospital. It would have helped us to share news of his condition in one easy click of the mouse.

Today, I attended the funeral of the father of our school secretary. I did not personally know the gentleman, but his daughter Anne, is the glue that holds our school together. Some co-workers and I drove two hours to the funeral together to support Anne. I remember from Brandon's funeral how important it was to me to see friends from all stages of our lives. The shock at times of seeing people I hadn't seen in ages and the realization that they came because they cared. That is important. More important than I realized before. When you have people in your life and they lose someone close to them.....it is important to show that you care, even when you might not have known their loved one personally.

As I stood graveside today in the fall air, hearing the wind rustle the leaves in the branches, I looked around at all of the school friends who were there to support Anne....and I thought, "these are my people".......

When I came home and checked facebook to see about my friends medical situations, one of our sisters had posted a message asking God to bless us all as we shared in the fights our friends were going through.....and again I thought, "these are my people"...........

The economy may be in the toilet, the government is more screwy than ever, most of us at one time or another are pointing fingers and tossing blame over one thing or another.....

But when you get right down to it......all that really matters.....is your people.....

and I for one am glad that I have people........

My Every Wish......

Yesterday was my birthday. My school children had a party for me the day before in the school cafeteria. Complete with a beautiful rendition of "Happy Birthday" and cards and gifts. It was awesome. My sweet room mom, Sarah Jane, made delicious chocolate brownies with M&M's on top and candles scattered all around. The children asked how old I was......5 was my reply......

When it was time to blow out the candles....I realized with sudden clarity....that I
had.nothing.to.wish.for...... :-)

After 12+ years of every birthday wish, every prayer, every wish upon a star, every see a shooting star and make a wish, every Thanksgiving when my Aunt Sarah would save the wishbone just for me (and tell me each year that I would get my wish, no matter what side of the wishbone I happened to be holding)....after really beliving that maybe, just maybe...wishes do come true at Disney...after all of that...after all of the miscarriages...and the agonizing years upon years of infertility....that I had nothing left to wish for....because......suddenly I realized that....I have it all.

I have awesome parents and a wonderful husband who loves me more than he should. I have the beautiful, smart and funny Little Prince, and finally, I have the gorgeous, always happy (unless she is in her carseat on a long trip) Little Princess. I live in a country where I am free to choose......whatever it is that I should want to choose.....I have a place that I can run to when I need to see the ocean....I have a job that I love in a school that rocks and that keeps me on my toes. I have lots of good friends and a handful of best ones that love me unconditionally. I have a large, loud, loving extended family. I have a nice home in a safe neighborhood...I have a fantastic church with a children's ministry that is out of this world. I have two pups that live to do nothing more than lay at my feet....I have a brother who watches over me while he's walking in Heaven....

So today.....this day after my 42 birthday.....for the rest of my life....I am choosing joy. I am choosing contentment.....I am choosing to be grateful.....and I am praying that even in contentment, that I never forget the sacrifices of those who went before so that I could be free in a country that I love....and the awesome sacrifices of the two birthmothers who chose LIFE....who chose LOVE.....who chose ME.......so that my every wish could be fulfilled..........

A dream is a wish your heart makes Princess.....it really is.......